Her Secret Amish Child Page 19

  “Why wouldn’t Gran answer?” Even Jesse’s frown didn’t spoil his good looks.

  “She’s not home.” Noah’s quick response surprised Maddie.

  “Where is she?” Jesse glanced from him to her.

  “Away.” Noah’s vacant stare returned, but his hands stayed by his sides, calm for now.

  “Emma’s at a women’s retreat in the mountains of New Mexico.” Maddie was puzzled by Noah’s seeming tranquility. Prolonged grocery store visits usually upset him.

  “She likes it there.” Though Noah appeared inattentive, he was obviously keeping track of the conversation.

  “Emma goes every January,” Maddie clarified. “She’s due back tomorrow, but you can’t reach her cell because she always shuts it off for the retreat.”

  “I forgot about her yearly retreat.” Jesse looked so disappointed Maddie felt a twinge of pity when he added, “I wanted to surprise her, but I guess the surprise is on me.”

  “She’s supposed to call me at work tomorrow morning.” Maddie couldn’t stop herself from offering to help. “Do you have a number I could give her to reach you?”

  “No. I don’t have a cell phone.”

  Maddie blinked. She’d thought Liam’s refusal to own a smartphone made them virtually the only ones left behind in this age of technology. Of course, now that she was a widow she could have bought her own, but hadn’t yet because of inner doubts about mastering it. Battling doubts had become an ongoing war for her mind.

  “The FCC says to keep cell phones one inch from the body.” Noah’s speech ended as abruptly as it had begun.

  “Oka-a-ay.” Jesse, eyes wide, dragged out the word, then glanced at Maddie. “I let my contract expire when I left Colorado. I’ve been on the move for several months, so I haven’t really needed a cell phone.”

  The way his voice tightened when he said that made her wonder if he’d left Colorado under unhappy circumstances. Funny, Emma hadn’t mentioned anything.

  “Well, when I see your grandmother I won’t tell her you’re in town, so you can still surprise her,” Maddie promised.

  “Scientific studies say unexpected pleasure is more rewarding. Emma will probably like your surprise.” Noah frowned at Maddie. “Ice cream?”

  “Yes, we’re leaving.” She laid her arm protectively across his shoulders, expecting him to jerk away, and not caring. Her action was meant as a motherly defence against Jesse’s searching scrutiny of her child. She hated when people gawked at Noah, then labeled him weird.

  “Nice to meet you, Noah and Maddie,” Jesse said.

  Nice? Maddie almost laughed at the pale, insipid little word that didn’t describe this encounter at all.

  “Bye, Jesse.” Maddie walked with Noah toward the cashier while sorting through what she’d learned about him during her three-year tenure at Quilt Essentials.

  Details were scant. Though Emma constantly raved about Jesse; how loving and generous he was, how good-natured his big heart, how his love for God embraced everyone he met, the one thing she hadn’t mentioned was Jesse’s good looks. But then Emma was all about a person’s heart, not their looks. Perhaps that’s why Emma had never asked Maddie about the puckered red scar that ran from her left earlobe down her neck, the scar that made her so self-conscious.

  Emma’s friendship had been the lifeline Maddie had clung to—that and her own prayers that God would help her survive her marriage. Emma’s quilt shop was a refuge where Maddie could bury her unhappiness in the comforting textures and glorious colors of fabrics, and let her inner soul come alive in a quilt. That very first day, Quilt Essentials had become Maddie’s sanctuary and Emma the best friend she’d ever had.

  Now Maddie pulled out her credit card to pay for her purchases, savoring thoughts of a relaxing evening ahead. Her hobby ranch on the outskirts of Tucson was mostly cactus and desert, but the charming, newly renovated house was all hers, the place where she could be and do what she wanted. And what Maddie wanted was to make Broken Arrow Ranch into the kind of home where Noah could enjoy a happy, carefree childhood while she taught herself to be strong and confident.

  So far Maddie wasn’t succeeding at either. No matter how she prayed, she couldn’t shed the memory of Liam’s voice constantly berating her. As for independence—well, learning to stand on your own two feet after a lifetime of having someone tell you what to do was a lot harder than she’d imagined. But she couldn’t, wouldn’t give up, though Noah resisted every change she tried to make.

  Some days Maddie almost lost hope that she would ever feel worthy of God’s love, that Noah would make friends, relax and have fun like an ordinary kid. But she didn’t often pray about it anymore, because she figured Liam was right; God probably wouldn’t answer the prayers of someone as unimportant as Maddie McGregor.

  They were storing their groceries in the trunk of Maddie’s red SUV when Noah said, “Tomorrow’s Martin Luther King Day lunch. I hafta bring food to school.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me while we were in the store?” Maddie masked her exasperation.

  “Forgot.” Noah shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Ninety-nine percent of the other kids will bring stuff.”

  “I’m sure your teacher expects one hundred percent participation.” She closed the trunk with a sigh. “Come on. Let’s go find something.”

  “You want to talk to that guy again.” Noah’s lecture tone reminded her of Liam. “Sometimes strangers form lasting relationships after their first meeting.”

  “Lasting relation—what?” Maddie gaped at him.

  “Dad would be mad that you like Jesse.” Noah’s dark-eyed gaze met and held hers.

  “Honey, your father is gone.” Where did he get these statistics?

  “He’d hate Jesse.” Noah kicked a pebble on the pavement. “Dad never liked his kind.”

  “What kind?” Maddie asked. The happy kind? The kind of person who doesn’t automatically find fault? “Jesse seems nice. And he’s Emma’s grandson,” she reminded Noah.

  “Emma’s nice. But Dad wouldn’t like Jesse.”

  “Maybe, maybe not. But that’s no reason for you to dislike him.” Maddie refused to pursue this. They both needed a break from the past. “Let’s quickly get whatever you need so we can get home before the frozen stuff melts.” As they walked across the lot and in through the automatic doors, she asked, “You didn’t get a note from your teacher?”

  “Lost it.” He wouldn’t look at her.

  “Noah,” Maddie chided, then let it go. He was always ultra responsible. Maybe losing the note was his way of avoiding the interaction of lunch. He wasn’t exactly the social type. “What exactly did your teacher say?”

  “Memorize six lines of Mr. King’s speech and bring a food treat that will remind others of it,” Noah recited in a high-pitched, singsong tone.

  Maddie hid her smile. His imitation of his teacher, Mrs. Perkins, was uncanny. “Have you memorized a portion of the speech?”

  “The ‘I have a dream’ part.” Noah’s chest swelled as he precisely delivered the beginning lines of the famous speech. Then his pride visibly deflated. “I don’t know any food to go with that.”

  “I do.” Jesse stood nearby, his wonderful smile flashing. “Sorry, didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but those lines always remind me of Gran’s I Have a Dream snack.”

  “What’s an I Have a Dream snack?” Noah asked, seemingly interested.

  “It’s pretty easy, Ark Man.” Jesse grinned, and to Maddie’s surprise, Noah didn’t decry the nickname.

  “Ark Man?” She wrinkled her nose.

  “Like Noah in the Bible, Mom. ’Cause I have Cocoa. An’ there’s a roadrunner that goes past our place, too,” he told Jesse with an eagerness she hadn’t seen—maybe ever? “An’ sometimes coyotes howl. An’ Mom feeds hummingbirds.”

  “Wow.�
� Jesse looked impressed.

  “So I guess I kind of am Ark Man?” he said, obviously seeking confirmation.

  “Absolutely.” Jesse held up his hand to high-five, and Noah matched it. Both of them wore goofy grins.

  Maddie stared at her introverted kid. This change—because of Jesse?

  “So, to make these treats you need big marshmallows and some caramels,” Jesse continued.

  “I’ll find some.” Noah raced away before Maddie could stop him.

  “I’m sorry. I’m interfering without even asking you,” Jesse said after a quick glance at her. “I’ll go get him.”

  “Please don’t. It’s the first time Noah’s been that excited about anything since...ever.” Without thinking, Maddie put her hand on Jesse’s arm to stop him, then jerked it away when her brain repeated Noah’s strangers-forming-a-relationship fact.

  No relationship for her. Never going to get hurt again.

  “I warn you. If this recipe of Emma’s involves baking, it will be a failure.”

  “It will?” A puzzled look darkened his blue-eyed gaze. “But it’s simple.”

  “Maybe, but I can’t do simple baking,” Maddie admitted. “Actually, I can’t do complicated either,” she added, eyes downcast in a rush of shame. “I’m not a good cook.”

  “She’s not,” Noah agreed solemnly, having returned with a huge bag of marshmallows. “Ninety-nine point nine percent of her cooking burns.”

  “Noah!” Maddie exclaimed in embarrassment.

  “Fortunately, this recipe requires no cooking. Just melting.” Jesse glanced at the marshmallows, then raised an eyebrow at Noah. “Caramels?”

  “Couldn’t find any.” Noah looked dejected. “I guess we can’t make the snacks.”

  “You can always make I Have a Dream snacks, Ark Man. One hundred percent of the time.” Jesse’s firm tone had the strangest effect on Noah.

  “Okay.” His boyish shoulders went back and his face got a determined look that Maddie had not seen before. “How?”

  “We find caramels because they’re the best part. And we need cream.” Jesse beckoned. “Come on, you and I will check it out. They have to have them somewhere. Every self-respecting grocery store carries caramels.”

  “I didn’t know that.” Noah tucked the information away.

  A bemused Maddie trailed behind the pair, accepting the pint of cream Jesse handed her as she worried about where this was going to lead. To disaster probably, and not only for Noah. Melting meant heat, which meant burning, which meant...

  “Here we go. Crazy section to stock caramels in.” Jesse plopped two packages into Noah’s arms. “Let’s make sure we’ve got enough for seconds.”

  “I’m not allowed seconds of sweets. It’s a rule.” The non-challenging way Noah said that made Maddie wince. What normal eight-year-old didn’t automatically reach for seconds when candy was involved?

  Just another thing she planned to change. Help Noah shed his stringent list of rules and become a regular kid. Check.

  “Let’s take three.” She snatched another bag of caramels from the shelf. “Just in case they turn out okay.”

  Which they won’t. She repressed the memory of that scoffing voice.

  “I like your spunk, mother of Ark Man.” Jesse grinned at her. “We need dry chow mein noodles, too.” He laughed at their surprised expressions. “You’ll see. It’s delicious.”

  With noodles in hand, Maddie paid for their loot then led the way out of the store, wondering if sharing a sweet snack with his classmates would finally gain Noah acceptance from the other kids. He’d been an outcast for so long, mostly because of Liam’s rules.

  After her husband’s death Maddie had blown a good part of her budget to change Noah’s world. She’d located a private school that specialized in his issues and whose uniforms didn’t make him look weird. She had his home haircut professionally restyled and enrolled him in a swimming class because he seemed to excel at that one sport. Yet despite all that, Noah still clung to his father’s rules, which frustrated Maddie no end.

  “Now you have everything you need, Ark Man. You and your mom can melt the caramels with a little cream, dip in the marshmallows, then roll them in the noodles. My job is done, so I’ll be on my way. See you.” Jesse waved and turned away.

  He thought she could do this on her own?

  “Wait,” Maddie called out in panic. “Could you—uh, come to the house and show us exactly how to make them? Please? I’d ask Emma, but she’s away.”

  She sounded desperate. Well, she was!

  But she was asking for Noah’s sake, because she wanted him to know what it was like to be the one to bring a special treat, to be in the limelight in a good way. Just once she wanted Noah to be envied by other kids instead of being mocked.

  And maybe you’re asking because you like the way Jesse didn’t make fun of you for not being able to cook.

  Her son frowned in confusion. “Mom?” he whispered. “Stranger rule?”

  Liam’s rules had taught Noah fear, and Maddie saw it now in his brown eyes. She was usually wary of strangers, too. But funnily enough, not with Jesse.

  Why was that?

  “Um, maybe I shouldn’t go to your place,” Jesse said, his gaze on Noah. “I could just—”

  “Please come,” she invited, discounting her inhibitions. “I’d really like to make this treat.”

  “I guess, if you’re sure?” After a moment’s pause Jesse added, “Since Gran’s away I haven’t got anything special on tonight. Maybe after we’re finished I could use your phone to call Wranglers Ranch about a job?”

  “Sure. Tanner Johns owns Wranglers. His wife, Sophie, is a friend of mine. Actually, we’re neighbors.” Maddie stashed the second set of groceries in her vehicle. “If you help us, I’ll put in a good word for you in exchange.”

  Maybe she wasn’t being totally straightforward by not telling Jesse that his grandmother was an ardent supporter of Wranglers Ranch and its outreach mission for troubled kids, or that Emma’s referral would probably be far more valuable than hers. But Maddie needed Jesse’s help. For Noah. So she waited on pins and needles.

  “Okay, it’s a deal.” Jesse motioned to a battered brown half-ton truck that sat at the far end of the parking lot. “That’s mine. How far is your place?”

  “About ten minutes outside the city. We live on Broken Arrow Ranch. You can follow us there.” Maddie waited with bated breath until he nodded. As he walked away she was surprised to see him clap a black Stetson on his head. Where had that come from?

  You were too busy gawking at his hunky face to notice his hat.

  “I guess Jesse’s nice. But Dad’s rule...” Noah’s confused voice died away.

  “Jesse is Emma’s grandson. He’s like a friend.” She was doing this for Noah. She’d do anything to help him.

  You’re making another mistake, Madelyn.

  That voice killed the confidence she’d had in her hasty invitation, until she remembered her last talk with her boss.

  Maddie, you went from being a child to being a wife and then a mom. Now you need to take the time to figure out who Maddie is. Not Maddie, Liam’s wife, or Maddie, Noah’s Mom, but Maddie, the beloved child of God. The first step is to learn to trust your Heavenly Father.

  Okay then. She’d take this step, and maybe if she trusted God enough, He’d show her the next one, the step that would help Noah heal.

  “Jesse calls me Ark Man,” Noah mused aloud.

  “Is that okay?” she asked.

  “I guess.” A tiny smile curved his lips. “I never had a nickname before.”

  Because Liam hadn’t allowed them.

  “It makes you feel kind of special,” Noah said thoughtfully.

  Maddie pulled into her yard with a sense of wonder. Be
cause of Jesse, her son the rule-keeper was changing. Was this the beginning of the breakthrough she’d been praying for?

  What else could happen?

  * * *

  Jesse was simply going to show Maddie and her kid how to make the treats his gran had taught him to make when he was Noah’s age.

  He was not going to get involved. So what could happen?

  As he climbed out of his truck his stomach issued a loud and angry protest at its empty state. He stomped his boots free of the dust to cover the rumblings. He’d been counting on one of Gran’s delicious meals to satiate his hunger. Clearly, that wasn’t going to happen, but maybe Maddie wouldn’t mind if he gobbled up a few of her treats.

  Jesse could tell by the look on the kid’s face when Maddie invited him inside that Noah minded him being there. Obviously, he’d heard many warnings to be careful of strangers. Not a bad thing, Jesse decided.

  “This is a beautiful spread.” He glanced around appreciatively. “The untouched desert is fascinating.”

  “I think so, too.” Maddie looked surprised by his comment. “I often sit on the porch with my coffee in the morning and just enjoy it. I love the peace.”

  Meaning she hadn’t had a lot of peace in her life? Curiosity about this woman mushroomed as Jesse took the grocery bags from her.

  “The mountains make a great backdrop,” Maddie said, as she unlocked the door and pushed it open. “Although coming from Colorado, you probably think ours are puny.”

  “No such—oof.” Jesse struggled to keep his balance as a chocolate lab jumped up at him. “Pleased to meet you, Cocoa.” He chuckled as the dog licked his hands.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry. Down, Cocoa.” Maddie tugged at the animal’s collar, dragging the dog away from Jesse. “Take her outside, Noah.”

  Jesse noted the boy’s frown as his glance moved from her face to his, his eyes dark and stormy.

  “Now, please, son,” Maddie said.

  After a moment Noah nodded and clipped the lead on the dog’s collar.

  “Hang on tight, Ark Man,” Jesse advised, as he plopped the grocery bags on the counter. “That’s a strong animal you’re taking out of the ark.”